So I came across a blog post by Jordan Lee talking about the ambiguity of modern (especially online) dating making women (and men) feel like they are never totally “good enough.” The post notes how in our generation, it is common for girls to go on a date, text a bit, and then never hear from the guy again. A woman in Jordan’s article admits she meets guys on Tinder and it goes well for a while, and then he will, for example, swipe right for someone else, or pick things up with his ex. The woman was left feeling alone and just “almost good or interesting enough.” These experiences were heartbreaking, confusing, and dissatisfying.
Honestly, I have never done online dating. But the “almost good enough” idea is so real and I have struggled with it. It’s one of the worst feelings to experience, especially at first. At the same time, I believe it is one of the most destructive lies we can tell ourselves. And this attitude of comparison is so common in non-romantic areas as well.
So when it comes to romantic relationships, we feel just “almost good enough.” In fact, I believe it actually grieves God for us to have that mindset, let alone allow that thought to affect our feelings. We know we are radically loved by a Savior who tells each of us yes, you are good enough; not only that, but you are already so loved and valued by me, and I never want you to feel otherwise….but do we really believe it? Do we let it reign over our feelings and actions?
We know we are radically loved by a Savior who tells each of us yes, you are good enough; not only that, but you are already so loved and valued by me, and I never want you to feel otherwise.
In the Bible, Jesus tends to cross cultural and social barriers to meet women like the ‘disgraced’ Samaritan woman or the woman caught in adultery and about to be punished and stoned in John 8. Jesus broke down serious barriers to know and speak with these women, and offers them grace. These accounts say that it’s not important to him that our lives look perfect. It is important to him that we accept and believe in the value of a relationship with him, which he offers us freely.
It is important to him that we accept and believe in the value of a relationship with him, which he offers us freely.
Would he want us to forget about that value in the midst of whatever relationship status he’s blessed us with?
(Samaritan woman) John 4:13 “Jesus answered, ‘Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.’”
Colossians 3:2 “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”
1 Cor 1:27-29 “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.”